For: Ever. From: Me.

    I realized the other day that if I were so fortunate enough to have any last words, they would likely be in the form of a question. I was never blessed with the ability to accept the ideals of life’s simplistic foundation and fundamental guidelines. Everything has to have a profound answer and purpose to its existence or an explanation that pushes the boundaries towards reinventing the entire way we view our meaning in this life. I question normal behavior and it’s profound effect on us and how it’s become a superficial concept that may no longer be permissible. I want to be able to grow wings and fly, but I can not. However, that does not detour me from losing sleep over a nonsensical fairytale that I think exists, but I’ve never seen. I have a motion picture that plays in my mind about how I perceive happiness and my desire to share love with another. Perhaps these details have set up such a high expectation that I am bound to fail. It has caused me to walk away from my own hope and become stepped upon for another’s.

    Most love comes from one of life’s most selfish gestures; stemming from how YOU feel with another in order to willingly offer your companionship in return. Other than the love for a child, I have a very difficult time intertwining unconditional with love. Divorces, Infidelity, and distinguishing true love from conformity of comfort with reputation and familiarity. I have read a lot that love lasts merely a few years and then the concept of separation often becomes too unbearable for consideration because your life has been situated and based around/upon someone else. I hope I am wrong. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone so compatible and complimentary that we wouldn’t be able to achieve our dreams without one another. I think the idea of balancing another’s happiness for the rest of my life scares the hell out of me. I think it’s one of the biggest factors in making a successful relationship last and I can’t even balance my own. Till death do us part and forever is something I take extremely serious and perhaps to all fault of my own. I can’t half ass the idea that there is only just one perfect person for me that can complement my life just as I can hers. I can’t settle for anything less.

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One response to “For: Ever. From: Me.

  1. Never “settle”. Its better to be alone and wishing than lonely and miserable. There is nothing lonlier than being in a relationship with… especially sharing a home with… someone you know deep down you shouldn’t be with. It is hard to navigate around that initial attraction, but you need take care around those corners before you invest yourself too much. Take attraction with a grain of salt and a dash of amusement. Remember this: Compatibility IS everything. So is mutual respect. Real respect. Spoken by an elder who has lived both experiences and appreciates having found the latter! :o)

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